So uh…technically sort of a VICTORY FOR ZIM? And then Dib ruined it, which ironically turned out to be good ONLY for the Irken Empire–which did not lose its Tallest and flagship to a sudden massive influx of humanity–and not for Earth–which two million years later is still besieged by mutant abomination Santa every year. In the span of just A FEW DAYS, he managed to fool nearly the entire planet Earth into believing he was Santa, and had the humans in the palm of his Vortian liquid substance suit’s hand. Sixteen years ago today Zim did his scariest, most nearly successful plan ever. But he did his best and that is what Christmas is all about. Except the Tallest, who did not die, because ultimately Zim’s plan failed. Once upon a time fourteen years ago, an Irken named Zim performed the cliche of a character playing Santa, but things turned out WAY WORSE THAN EVER BEFORE, for EVERYONE INVOLVED. Thirteen years ago now, Zim almost managed to kill a large swath of Earth’s population and two Tallest plus a whole lot of other Irkens on the Massive, but instead merely succeeded in making Santa Claus real and horrifying through the power of technology. Never forget that time 12 years ago when Zim very nearly succeeded at a thing he set out to do, which also very nearly had the kind of dire consequences for the Empire that always seem to result from Zim doing anything. If Zim had succeeded he would’ve not only depopulated this planet, but would’ve almost certainly upped his Tallest death count to four. A reminder on this joyous occasion that if Zim’s Christmassy doom scheme of 11 years ago had gone as planned, every single human on Earth (or at least the apparently very large number who believed Zim was Santa) would’ve been teleported directly onto the bridge of the Massive.
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